Tami Distefano serves as Program Director at The Retreat Orange County, bringing two decades of experience in human services, addiction treatment, and program leadership to her role.
Her career began working with veterans experiencing homelessness, helping individuals secure housing, find employment, develop life skills, and begin rebuilding stability. She transitioned into addiction treatment in 2014 and has worked with a wide range of individuals and families, including first responders and people navigating complex substance use and mental health challenges.
Since 2020, Tami has served in program leadership, but she has never viewed leadership as something that happens from an office.
At The Retreat, she describes herself as the “eyes and ears” of the program—remaining closely connected to clients, staff, and the small details that can make someone feel genuinely known.
“I like to meet people where they are, but not leave them there.”
Long before Tami entered addiction treatment, her work with homeless veterans taught her an important lesson: people rarely need just one thing.
Housing matters. Employment matters. Stability matters. But so do trust, dignity, connection, and having someone willing to understand the full picture.
That experience continues to shape the way she approaches addiction treatment today.
“I’ve been dedicated to helping others for about twenty years. I started my career with homeless veterans. That experience helped me provide the right support to people and help them find their path.”
At The Retreat, that philosophy means looking beyond a diagnosis or substance use history to understand the individual coming through the door.
Before a new client arrives, Tami makes it a priority to learn about them as a person—their interests, favorite music, favorite foods and desserts, and the seemingly small details that can make an unfamiliar environment feel more personal.
For Tami, those details aren’t extras. They are part of helping someone feel seen.
As Program Director, Tami is involved in the day-to-day experience of detox and residential addiction treatment at The Retreat Orange County.
She stays connected to what is happening across the program—from the clinical team and nursing staff to case management and behavioral health technicians.
That visibility is particularly important within The Retreat’s collaborative approach to care.
“I’m the eyes and ears of this institution. It’s knowing everything that’s going on—the staff’s personal lives, their struggles—because the clients see that too. If the team is united, the clients know that they’re safe.”
Tami believes effective addiction treatment depends on communication.
A therapist may see one part of a client’s experience. Nursing may notice another. A behavioral health technician may observe something during the everyday moments between formal sessions. Case management may be learning about family dynamics or concerns about what happens after treatment.
At The Retreat, those perspectives are intended to come together rather than remain isolated.
The result is a treatment environment where the team can understand more than what appears in a clinical note.
“Individualized treatment” is a phrase used throughout the addiction treatment field.
For Tami, it has to mean something tangible.
“My role is to gather as much information about the individual on a personal level so that person can feel like family too.”
That can mean knowing a client’s favorite music. Remembering their favorite dessert. Understanding what helps them feel comfortable when they are having a difficult day.
It also means recognizing that two people with similar substance use histories may need very different kinds of support.
Tami’s goal is for clients at The Retreat to experience treatment as something being done with them, not simply something being administered to them.
Tami also brings lived experience to her work.
She has been sober since August 2012.
Her personal recovery does not replace her professional training, but it gives her another perspective on what it means to ask for help, begin changing a life, and continue showing up for recovery long after the first difficult steps have been taken.
It is also part of why her philosophy does not stop at simply accepting someone exactly where they are.
Compassion, to Tami, includes believing that someone is capable of moving forward.
“I like to meet people where they are, but not leave them there.”
That principle has followed her from veteran services to addiction treatment and now into her leadership at The Retreat Orange County.
It is also how she hopes clients experience the program: met with compassion, known as an individual, and supported by a team that believes there is somewhere worth going next.
